Plans For The Future Essay

The following is one of two winning essays composed for the 2012 The Mary Cone Barrie Scholarship. The scholarship is one of few annual awards that recognize non-traditional students and their pursuit of lifelong learning.

My name is Moon Soe, and I am a junior student at Metropolitan State University, in Saint Paul, Minnesota, pursuing a degree in secondary mathematics education. This spring 2012, I am taking four classes at the indicated institute above while also working full-time during weekdays. I am planning to finish all my required courses in spring, 2013 and begin my student teaching in Fall 2013. Coming to Minnesota as a refugee from Thailand, I was so enthusiastic and hopeful to continue my education for a better life. I attended Century College as soon as I got my GED six months after I resettled in Minnesota. I was the first generation who finished a two year college, and I’m now working on to finish my bachelor degree. I am originally from Burma (also called Myanmar) and also an Ethnic Karen, one of the very recent immigrants in Minnesota and in many other countries all over the world. While living in a refugee camp in Thailand, I was hoping for a better life, but I didn’t have a choice or a chance. Sometimes I blamed myself because I felt envious of the world and people that had more opportunities. Living in the camp for 13 years, I thought I was never going to be able to continue my education, and I had so little hope when I thought about my future. However, I am really happy now that I could start to dream about my future in real life and not a daydream anymore. Working fulltime and going to school fulltime might be a little difficult, but in order to finance my family without giving up on my dream, I motivate myself everyday to have enough energy. I understand how it must have been hard for my family since they do not speak English and understand much about life process in the United States.

When I started college, I was very happy, but clueless. It felt amazing that I had the opportunity to continue my education, but I did not know how to make it through my first semester. However, I said to myself that I should grab this great opportunity, or it would go pass me. I looked up for supports from every resource I could get from college, and surprisingly I made it through smoothly for the last three years. I feel so grateful and honored that I am going to be the first generation in my family ancestry who is graduating from college.

Undeniably, I believe there are many people in the world that are in the same situation as me. Having gone through a hard time to survive, I would say it is fortune and hope that bring me to this life stage. At the beginning it was challenging for me to declare my major because the world I grew up is too different to where I am now. However, I always knew in my heart that I love working with teenaged children. Also as a student, I always love math and have great desire to enrich my knowledge in mathematics education. After assessing what my passions and my abilities are, I decided to become an urban secondary math teacher hoping I could help guide these wonderful children to grow intellectually and pursue what they desire to.

My interest in teaching began while I was teaching as a non-licensed teacher for almost two years at a diverse post-secondary school in the refugee camp. However, I felt bad for I was not able to provide my students with the best quality education because I was not well-trained but given the job due to community’s need. Then, since 2009 until now, having worked in an urban secondary public school in Saint Paul as an educational assistant, I really love my job as an educator. As a result, I would like to take a step further to become a good educator for the lifelong learning journey of the new generations. After I get my teaching license, I am planning to teach at an urban secondary school. I am also very proud to be part of community education and represent many Karen immigrants in Minnesota. Receiving scholarship would really help me graduate timely. This scholarship is not going to be just a financial support, but for me it is evidence to prove to my urban students as someone who was once hopeless now has accomplished something great.

My last hope is one day I would like to become a useful resource person in my Karen community as a professional in education. My fellow ethnic Karen has been fleeing war and became refugees for many decades. Many generations missed educational privilege. Many children did not have educational opportunities because of life they had to go through. I was once like these children and was not happy with my life. Therefore, I hope to be able to help make a difference in these children life so that their dream may come true as other children in the world.

To learn more about the Mary Cone Barrie Scholarship, please click here.

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My Future Career Plans - With A Free Essay Review




PROMPT: My future career plans, why I want and need to study in the US at the graduate level, and how I hope to contribute to my country's democratic and economic development.

My name is Levan, I’m 23 years old. I was born in small city Dusheti, where i started learning. In 2000 I won the olympics in mathematics and I came to the school of physics and mathematics “Comarovi” in tbilisi, which I successfully graduated in 2005. I have obtained my Bachelor’s Degree from the business administration faculty of the Georgian – American University in Georgia in 2009. and i was the best student of the university. Through the entire 4 years of courses I acquired comprehensive knowledge in a wide range of subjects like Corporate Finance, Derivative Markets, Valuation of Financial Assets, Fixed Income Securities, Strategic Managment, and others. I was taught by many experienced teachers who were glad to share their theoretical and practical knowledge in relative fields. By some of them I was inspired to broaden out my theoretical knowledge implementing it into practice and offered to get involved in some projects related to my major. So I started my first activity at Information center of NATO.

I was explaining to people what the NATO is, its history, why is our country’s goal to become a member of alliance and etc. It was my first experience to work with team and manage it.

In 2008 I began working in the company universalcom. I was director there. I worked in the company since its foundation and became the one of the best in distribution sector. I worked there until 2010 Then I was in the army until June 2011 and after finising it I went to work in USA company JSC “open revolution georgia”. They brought an innovative mobile financial services in Georgia , and I am working there very . successfully.

I have ambitious career goals and plans for my future life and believe this program can help me reach these goals. I want to be best top manager, and To be a leader and professional in my case. I know I can achieve something in my life only after the implementation of my planned goals, in the success of which I believe. In order to take the path to my career, I must improve my skills, enrich my knowledge and obtain experience in the field which I’m going to study. This program gives me an opportunity and I must use this opportunity to study in the US.

A good educational background and ability to use it in beneficial conditions is a significant point in rising along career stairs.

Master’s Degree in Business administration from US University will be a great step forward in my self-development and career as well as this country is known all over the World for the best educational system comparing to other universities. USA's advanced education system will surely further develop my skills acquired in Georgia and make them professional. My commitment to my education is strong and I know that, if I graduate MBA in USA, I will get exactly the skills and experience which is inevitable to build my future career.

Our country wants to see our contributions to making a powerful and developing country. When I get my postgraduate certificate, I will go back to Georgia to work in goverment or private sector towards improving and strengthening the management system, through sharing my experiences with managers, and not only them, by organizing specialized training courses. Also I can participate the development of business creating sector , management of business and management education level. Business sector’s development within the country means overall progress of my country’s economy and my people’s life. I love Georgia, and I intend to do everything in its economic and democratic development.

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ESSAY REVIEW

You begin to respond to the prompt directly in the final two paragraphs. The penultimate paragraph, which addresses the question of why you want and need to study in the US is quite vague. The argument that U.S. education is great is rather general (and not true _in general_). If you specified that program you want to enroll in and why, you might have something more concrete and meaningful to say. Your final paragraph deals with what you intend to do on your return to Georgia. This paragraph is a little bit clearer, but not by much. It would be a good idea to specify what you mean by the “management system,” especially if you mean something, as you apparently do, that is applicable to both government and the private sector. The essay says next to nothing about democratic development, but knowing nothing about the program for which you are applying, I’ve no idea how important that is. I suggest, in any case, expanding the last two paragraphs, with a view to making their claims more specific, and condensing the rest of the essay. Keep your sentences relatively short and simple in order to minimise the number of errors.

Best, EJ




Submitted by: levani

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